"New York remains what it has always been: a city of ebb and flow, a city of constant shifts of population and economics, a city of virtually no rest. It is harsh, dirty, and dangerous, it is whimsical and fanciful, it is beautiful and soaring - it is not one or another of these things but all of them, all at once, and to fail to accept this paradox is to deny the reality of city existence." -Paul Goldberger
Ok, its official.. I can finally join the list of those who "heart NYC" It comes a surprise to me, as well! I've always appreciated rural, small-town, community life, even more so after moving from metropolis to metropolis. However, my affinity for cities, especially the city of all American cities, has been more like that of an acquired taste.
In fact, distaste used to reside on my palate of judging urbania when I thought of the Big Apple- too crowded, too dirty, too much. It wasn't until I'd lived in Baltimore for nearly a year, that I could even fathom the "charm" of cities so big and old and disorganized. The understanding came to me slowly, but now I can't seem to get enough of the grit, busyness, energy, architecture.
On my latest date with NYC, my dear friend Sheena and I wandered around Greenwich all afternoon in search of a wine bar (that was open in the early afternoon). This led to stumbling upon an intricate jewelry store smaller than most modern bathrooms, beautiful old churches, sculptures, funny eclectic shops, old Irish pubs, strangely named establishments, a lovely Italian restaurant with great wine (and coolly charmed service), which then led also to a fun and unexpected evening of Guinness, pizzeria, espresso and dessert with our lovely Italiano tender of the bar. :)
The next two days were of similar form.. I was with my very best friend from college with whom I can always be just me, just silly, goofy, sometimes annoyingly giddy and over-analyzing me.. our friendship is perhaps what makes being in NY so comfortable and fantastic. We strolled through busy streets, thrift shops, stores, and more.. then spent the next day in Central Park. That day it was rainy but still, amazing. We were on the runners path for a while and the fog drifted gently around the middle of the buildings hiding the rooftops from our site. Yet, despite the gray skies, the trees with its fall-colored leaves painted the most beautiful picture- a perfect backdrop for a couple getting married, in the rain, with only a pastor and a photographer (and random passerbys) to witness. In the spirit of New York, the groom wore a gray sweater, pants and a tie while she wore an ivory dress with red heels. What a wonderful, simple thing to witness.
So, My Dear New York.. thank you for hosting a once again lovely visit.. for being ever-inspiring, the best.. and the worst of hosts, comforting yet aloof. I couldn't be more thankful for the opportunities I've had to get to know you and to spend time with you, your people, your craziness.. Someday maybe I'll even make you my home in you and my livelihood in one of our lively neighborhoods.. a little cafe with espresso by me and cakes by Sarah... a dream..
Through these days
I move swiftly
gliding into new lives
strangely leaving others
faces, memories, landscapes
are moving faster
my memory can't capture
floating in my heart
puzzling me, lovingly
once unknown
but now so close
feeding my dreams,
enhancing my hopes
becoming my reality
becoming me
"Live from the other side
things are pretty groovy and the tide is high
catch a rhythm and enjoy the ride
baby take it easy." -Don McCloskey
Hey folks! So.... Denver was good. :) It was great actually, and now I'm back here on the west coast, enjoying the lovely Pacific breeze, beach, and sun, and waiting to find out what happens next! This isn't necessarily where I hoped or expected I'd be 4 months ago, and though it gets a little thick when wading through the mud in the journey of life.. life is still.. well, good. The road has taken some unexpected turns but God continues to put stellar people in my life who have not just walked with, carried, and guided me along the way, they have taken me on adventures and loved me like they'd known me for years! I have been blessed and I couldn't be more thankful!!
My job is also not what I expected, but good. Turns out I'm basically taking a break from nursing- mentally, emotionally, and physically. I knew I'd be working in an outpatient oncology setting, but I didn't realize how few responsibilities I'd have. I start IV's in the morning for CAT scans and see patients with the surgeons in the afternoons. And by seeing patients, I mean literally, just seeing. I work with a group of oncology surgeons and one other nurse. Her and I accompany the male docs in the room while seeing patients and assist the females with anything they need. There are two doctors for whom I am the primary nurse during their clinic and though they are very different, they are both absolutely fantastic.
(On a side but important note.. while you're lifting up your prayers today, please include my friend, Becca, who has diagnosed with breast cancer, as she is currently going through chemo.. not to mention everything else that comes along with the diagnosis)
The other element of work that I love is the other nurses- just great people! There is a group of us, all around the same age that gets a long really well. Most of us are travelers, so we do a lot together.
I've also found a great Catholic church in Santa Monica that has a hugely active young adults ministry. I went on a spiritual retreat with them to this beautiful retreat center nestled in the mountains of Malibu that overlooked the ocean, hills and no-doubt some famous peoples' homes. ;) The timing couldn't have been more appropriate for me in being surrounded by the very things that remind me of God's presence in the world, nature and relationships.
Just last weekend, my friend Lindsey flew in to visit!!! She was here from MN last weekend and we had ourselves "a good ol' time (quote Gladys).. breakfast on the beach, unexpected shopping spree, trip to the national park in the santa monica mountains, bbq with friends in backyard, music on the promenade and just a lot of time to hang out. And to top things off, my dearest Gruber will be here next weekend!!!! What a blessing to have some of my closest friends be also close in proximity!!
So.. that's life now! Amongst all of these blessings and gifts, I face a bit of daunting challenge that I don't know where I belong in this country (and/if/or internationally). In a strange and unfamiliar way, the future is unclear as though there are thousands of roads to take and no clear sign or reason to go down any of them. I've learned and accomplished more than I had hoped to as a travel nurse, and feel ready to be done with this transient life. I am putting my feelers (resumes) out in many realms of work and volunteer, while being open to whatever God might have in store. Your prayers and support have been and are always greatly appreciated.....
A big thanks to all of you whom I got to see while back in MN for Jill D's wedding!! Though I have been so blessed with great friends out here and in every state in which I've lived during this travel gig, there's something so indescribably comforting about friends from home. I love you all so much... and miss the days of seeing you frequently! I hope and pray that one day I will be back in the Twin Cities (or close by) for good!!!
Much love and many thanks,
Laura
a prayer by Thomas Merton:
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I can not know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself.
And the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope that I will have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear
for you are ever with me and will never lead me to face my perils alone
Hello family and friends!!
I'm now writing to you live from a mile high and I am thrilled to report that all is going quite well in Denver!! I've been here for about 3 weeks and its been a blast! God has certainly been taking beautiful care of me, for which I'm ever so thankful.. and here to tell you all about it! :)
My first Sunday here, I walked to the Cathedral for mass. I received a phone call as I was walking there that brightened my day! It was my old roomie from B'more and our friend, Mulligan, calling on speakerphone to say hi! Totally brightened my night! Then, after mass had ended, I was getting up to leave when I heard my name!! Shocked, as you can imagine, seeing as though I don't really know anyone here, I looked up and saw Melissa, a girl I used to work with in MN! I did actually know that she was living here but we hadn't yet connected and I certainly didn't know she was Catholic and went to mass at the Cathedral! ha! We ended up finding a cute little bistro in the neighborhood and having some great food and wine, while catching up. It was such a wonderful surprise, because she's such a great girl! We had a fun night!
That following Thursday, the Daley's (the parents of my friend, Jill, from MN whom I'd recently spent a lot of time with) called me up to tell me they were in town and wanted to have dinner! So we met up and the food and wine were awesome but their company was the best! I just love them. So after not even having been in this new city for two weeks, I'd gotten to spend time with several people from MN that I adore. It was as though home came to me, like a mother, to get me comfortable and settled in, in my new home of Denver. Just awesome!
Along the lines of things to be thankful for, another leap of faith in apartment-renting has worked out beautifully! Not only is my new home apartment quaint, with wooden floors, a beautiful kitchen, patio, nice-size living room, eating area, etc.. :) its location is just what I was hoping for. I am, like I said, blocks from the Cathedral, as well as Whole Foods, a whole slew of cute restaurants, bars, coffee shops, museums, a YMCA, a yoga studio, and only a mile from work.. I think I've driven my car twice in the last week! I love it!! There are also a few parks nearby and one that has the perfect running path.
ah, see, after having been running 5 miles, I have decided to take this running thing to the next level :):) and run a half-marathon in January with my dear friend, Ingrid, who now lives in Albuquerque. Knowing that this was coming up, I knew I had to start up with the running as soon as I got here, and I must say that my body took a beating when I went on my first few runs up here! Its incredible what moving from sea level to the "mile high city" can mean for your heart and lungs! I watched my heart rate (on my wrist watch) soar into the 180's in a matter of seconds! I've probably only run about 25 miles since I've been here, I can already tell that my body is adjusting quickly.
I also joined a yoga studio nearby as a means of cross-training. The beginners classes I go to are in a "warm" environment so it isn't the "super hot" yoga, but I am drenched and exhausted when I leave. My body shakes and my muscles ache more than they ever have after a run, but it's awesome and in its own strange way, it actually is relaxing!
Joining me on this adventure of discovering Denver is my new friend, Robynn. :) Like myself, she is new in town and a nurse at the same hospital. We met during orientation and have been running (literally) around and having a blast since the day we met. We have a lot similar interests (faith, food, wine, beer, running, family, outdoors, etc) but have completely different paths/life-stories, so its been great getting to spend time with her. We've joined a couple of running/social groups together which means we've been on some good runs and met some really fun people.
Yes, so things really have been going quite well. I am liking work, enjoying the city and meeting great people. I was really excited to have some visitors during my first week and and look forward to hosting many more.. :):)
I hope this finds all of you doing well, and thanks again for checkin' in!
This is Laura, signing off..
until next time. Peace and Love.